DRIVING HOME ON A RAINY DAY
by Robin Shwedo
©: Robin Shwedo, 1995
Driving home from a four hour trip,
the gray sky opens up
and delivers the deluge it has been promising
all afternoon.
Wouldn't be so bad
if it hadn't started
shortly before crossing the bridge.
It's not the driving that depresses me
so much as all the gray:
the steel girders,
the pavement,
the choppy gray water beneath even that,
as well as the sky with its varying shades of gray.
Even the profusion of white, gray and beige cars
lend to the somber mood.
The only color around me
is the electric blue car ahead of me,
seeming garishly out of place.
Finally reaching land,
I search out my gray exit
with its darker gray and black trees.
Finding it amidst the rain,
I turn, then,
slowly heading home.
This was written during a time when I had family in another part of Florida. Once a week, I'd take time off for a visit, then head home. One dreary winter afternoon, the skies opened up, letting loose the rains it had been promising most of the day.
This is part of my book titled Poetry Unassigned, which is looking for a publishing home.
Monday, August 24, 2020
Friday, August 21, 2020
At A Check-Cashing Place, On A Dreary Day
At A Check-Cashing Place, On A Dreary Day
by Robin Shwedo
©Robin Shwedo, 2014
Grey, dreary day, first week in January,
I stand, waiting for a pay-day loan.
Ten more minutes, and I can get it.
Rules say that one must wait 24 hours from paying off the last one
before getting another loan.
A radio plays in the background, offering adult-alt-soft rock and occasional chatter.
Paul Simon is singing Graceland,
Ladysmith Black Mambazo laying down the background rhythm.
“I'm going to Graceland, Graceland, in Memphis, Tennessee,”* he sings.
An old woman,
crippled up from life,
eases into the place, shuffles up to the teller window.
The man with her – son, perhaps? neighbor? – sits down on the cheap office chair to wait.
“I need to borrow $400,” the old woman states in a flat, raspy whisper,
as though saying it much louder and with any kind of intonation
would give the statement a life of its own,
thus making it more than she can bear.
Several more people wander in,
needing money,
needing more until their next pay day.
Graceland ends and the Eagles follow up.
I turn and lean against the window where the teller,
who is helping the old woman,
will help me in – now – five minutes.
I stare out the bank of windows taking up one wall
and part of another.
It is dreary, dark, and will probably rain sometime this afternoon.
If it were up north – New England, say, or mid-west –
snow would be imminent.
The teller glances at me.
“One more minute,” he says in his thick Brooklyn accent.
His voice stands out in the Florida winter,
telling of snow days and shoveling snow
neither of us no longer need to do.
There was a time when I thought that all of this was gone,
when I would never have to come in here again.
Money was there in what seemed to be abundance.
And the it wasn't.
“Okay, you're up,” Brooklyn tells me
as the old woman shuffles off.
*©1986 Words and Music by Paul Simon
There are places where money is tight and pay-day advance businesses and pawn shops abound. Good? Bad? Depends on who you ask. This poem simply tells of one person getting a loan. It is part of a book titled Working Class Poems which will soon be looking for a publisher.
This was first posted on October 20, 2016.
by Robin Shwedo
©Robin Shwedo, 2014
Grey, dreary day, first week in January,
I stand, waiting for a pay-day loan.
Ten more minutes, and I can get it.
Rules say that one must wait 24 hours from paying off the last one
before getting another loan.
A radio plays in the background, offering adult-alt-soft rock and occasional chatter.
Paul Simon is singing Graceland,
Ladysmith Black Mambazo laying down the background rhythm.
“I'm going to Graceland, Graceland, in Memphis, Tennessee,”* he sings.
An old woman,
crippled up from life,
eases into the place, shuffles up to the teller window.
The man with her – son, perhaps? neighbor? – sits down on the cheap office chair to wait.
“I need to borrow $400,” the old woman states in a flat, raspy whisper,
as though saying it much louder and with any kind of intonation
would give the statement a life of its own,
thus making it more than she can bear.
Several more people wander in,
needing money,
needing more until their next pay day.
Graceland ends and the Eagles follow up.
I turn and lean against the window where the teller,
who is helping the old woman,
will help me in – now – five minutes.
I stare out the bank of windows taking up one wall
and part of another.
It is dreary, dark, and will probably rain sometime this afternoon.
If it were up north – New England, say, or mid-west –
snow would be imminent.
The teller glances at me.
“One more minute,” he says in his thick Brooklyn accent.
His voice stands out in the Florida winter,
telling of snow days and shoveling snow
neither of us no longer need to do.
There was a time when I thought that all of this was gone,
when I would never have to come in here again.
Money was there in what seemed to be abundance.
And the it wasn't.
“Okay, you're up,” Brooklyn tells me
as the old woman shuffles off.
*©1986 Words and Music by Paul Simon
There are places where money is tight and pay-day advance businesses and pawn shops abound. Good? Bad? Depends on who you ask. This poem simply tells of one person getting a loan. It is part of a book titled Working Class Poems which will soon be looking for a publisher.
This was first posted on October 20, 2016.
Wednesday, August 19, 2020
REJECTION
REJECTION
by Robin Shwedo
©: Robin Shwedo, 1995
The day I dyed my hair blue,
I was asked “why?” more than once.
Always, I’d answer, “Felt like it.”
Of course, it’s much more complex,
but what it boils down to is this:
Rejection.
Being way different is hard enough,
the biggest fear being that
No One Will Like You.
However,
give someone something they can latch onto:
Dye your hair blue,
wear combat boots with your dress,
and people can immediately give you a reason
you can laugh at.
It’s never you they’re rejecting you for,
it’s the fact that you have blue hair.
At least this way,
you can always pretend
“When the dye wears off,
then they’ll accept me.”
It’s easier to be rejected for deliberate ways
then things you can’t change.
This was written shortly after the second or third time I'd dyed the ends of my hair midnight blue. The first time, my oldest son had brought home some blue hair dye from the Ybor City section of Tampa, Florida, then decided he wasn't going to use the dye.
"You use it, Mom," he told me. "Don't worry, it washes out after a week or two."
At the time, I'd had a guy whose path crossed mine a couple of times a week who was more interested in me than I was in him. Finally, I told him to back off or I'd dye my hair blue.
"You do that, I'll never speak with you again!" he proclaimed. I wished I'd gotten it in writing, because the next day, when he saw me with the blue ends on my hair, he decided, "Somehow, on you, it just works!" Fortunately, I did manage to dissuade him.
Others, though, occasionally found the hair, um, too different. I did finally quit dying the ends of my hair after maybe half-a-dozen dyings...
This poem is part of Revolutionary Broads and Other Nightmares, which is looking for a publishing home.
by Robin Shwedo
©: Robin Shwedo, 1995
The day I dyed my hair blue,
I was asked “why?” more than once.
Always, I’d answer, “Felt like it.”
Of course, it’s much more complex,
but what it boils down to is this:
Rejection.
Being way different is hard enough,
the biggest fear being that
No One Will Like You.
However,
give someone something they can latch onto:
Dye your hair blue,
wear combat boots with your dress,
and people can immediately give you a reason
you can laugh at.
It’s never you they’re rejecting you for,
it’s the fact that you have blue hair.
At least this way,
you can always pretend
“When the dye wears off,
then they’ll accept me.”
It’s easier to be rejected for deliberate ways
then things you can’t change.
This was written shortly after the second or third time I'd dyed the ends of my hair midnight blue. The first time, my oldest son had brought home some blue hair dye from the Ybor City section of Tampa, Florida, then decided he wasn't going to use the dye.
"You use it, Mom," he told me. "Don't worry, it washes out after a week or two."
At the time, I'd had a guy whose path crossed mine a couple of times a week who was more interested in me than I was in him. Finally, I told him to back off or I'd dye my hair blue.
"You do that, I'll never speak with you again!" he proclaimed. I wished I'd gotten it in writing, because the next day, when he saw me with the blue ends on my hair, he decided, "Somehow, on you, it just works!" Fortunately, I did manage to dissuade him.
Others, though, occasionally found the hair, um, too different. I did finally quit dying the ends of my hair after maybe half-a-dozen dyings...
This poem is part of Revolutionary Broads and Other Nightmares, which is looking for a publishing home.
Friday, August 14, 2020
RAGE
RAGE
by Robin Shwedo
©: Robin Shwedo, 1989
I am mad.
There is a seething, furious anger
fighting to claw its way out,
like a lion from a cage,
like a tiger from a netted trap.
I turn myself inside out with my rage.
I have found your promises to be lies;
your sweet food turns bitter in my mouth,
from cottony air to stones in the pit of my being.
My rage tears at my innards,
threatening to do harm.
I wonder to who?
Possibly more to myself.
So,
I take a deep breath,
turn from raging, seething lion
into a large timber wolf,
a sly red fox,
and wait calmly –
I can do that, you know –
while you destroy yourself in your own trap,
get what I need
that you refused to give to the one you promised
it to
from your self-destructive self,
then leave to the sound of the cool, crisp air,
rejoicing that the sounds it makes in the trees
replaces your deceitful words.
From my collection titled Poetry Unassigned, which is looking for a publisher.
by Robin Shwedo
©: Robin Shwedo, 1989
I am mad.
There is a seething, furious anger
fighting to claw its way out,
like a lion from a cage,
like a tiger from a netted trap.
I turn myself inside out with my rage.
I have found your promises to be lies;
your sweet food turns bitter in my mouth,
from cottony air to stones in the pit of my being.
My rage tears at my innards,
threatening to do harm.
I wonder to who?
Possibly more to myself.
So,
I take a deep breath,
turn from raging, seething lion
into a large timber wolf,
a sly red fox,
and wait calmly –
I can do that, you know –
while you destroy yourself in your own trap,
get what I need
that you refused to give to the one you promised
it to
from your self-destructive self,
then leave to the sound of the cool, crisp air,
rejoicing that the sounds it makes in the trees
replaces your deceitful words.
From my collection titled Poetry Unassigned, which is looking for a publisher.
Wednesday, August 12, 2020
Blues Days
BLUES DAYS
by Robin Shwedo
©: Robin Shwedo, 1994
What kind of day do I like?
The kind where the weather has the blues:
the wet blues,
slip-slop-sloppy-sloshy blues,
the white cold flurry blues,
grey-sky-overhead blues,
where the colors have a chance to
scream out and soar,
and you get to sit around the
nice, warm, well-lit-house,
snuggled into your warm flannel shirt
and your dry jeans
and warm, dry, fuzzy socks,
your hands wrapped around
a nice hot cup of tea,
warm homemade cookies on a plate
or maybe a toasty, chewy muffin,
brimming with raisins and cranberries,
a lemony scent from
who knows where,
as you listen to a car going by
in the slip-slop-sloppy-sloshy rain,
its wipers going
slick-slick-slick,
back and forth in cadenced rhythm with the rain,
tires singing s-w-o-o-o-o-s-s-h-h with the road.
Hardly any traffic
on the cold wet grey roads
on a cold wet grey day.
Those who do venture out bundle up against the cold.
I feel sorry for them
and exhilarated for them:
Sorry,
since they brave the cold and wet,
the colors muted and laced with grey wet;
Exhilarated,
since they see neon lights
and other colors
dance off the road,
running in strange water-colored art,
then heading home to a place with light and dry.
White wet comes later—and earlier—in the year,
dancing,
swirling
down,
caught in a whirling updraft
before drifting down.
Grey winter skies whispered in cold breathy tones,
"Scarf, hat, mittens!
Boots, coat!"
Trudging home at the end of the day,
slip-sliding down sidewalks
and crossing streets to leap grey encrusted snow,
carrying grocery bags and attaché cases
before
getting home
to warm houses and apartments to
dream away to sunny days.
Written during the 1990s, this is part of my book Poetry, Unassigned, which is currently looking for a publisher. I'd written it after being out and about on a chilly, rainy wintery afternoon.
by Robin Shwedo
©: Robin Shwedo, 1994
What kind of day do I like?
The kind where the weather has the blues:
the wet blues,
slip-slop-sloppy-sloshy blues,
the white cold flurry blues,
grey-sky-overhead blues,
where the colors have a chance to
scream out and soar,
and you get to sit around the
nice, warm, well-lit-house,
snuggled into your warm flannel shirt
and your dry jeans
and warm, dry, fuzzy socks,
your hands wrapped around
a nice hot cup of tea,
warm homemade cookies on a plate
or maybe a toasty, chewy muffin,
brimming with raisins and cranberries,
a lemony scent from
who knows where,
as you listen to a car going by
in the slip-slop-sloppy-sloshy rain,
its wipers going
slick-slick-slick,
back and forth in cadenced rhythm with the rain,
tires singing s-w-o-o-o-o-s-s-h-h with the road.
Hardly any traffic
on the cold wet grey roads
on a cold wet grey day.
Those who do venture out bundle up against the cold.
I feel sorry for them
and exhilarated for them:
Sorry,
since they brave the cold and wet,
the colors muted and laced with grey wet;
Exhilarated,
since they see neon lights
and other colors
dance off the road,
running in strange water-colored art,
then heading home to a place with light and dry.
White wet comes later—and earlier—in the year,
dancing,
swirling
down,
caught in a whirling updraft
before drifting down.
Grey winter skies whispered in cold breathy tones,
"Scarf, hat, mittens!
Boots, coat!"
Trudging home at the end of the day,
slip-sliding down sidewalks
and crossing streets to leap grey encrusted snow,
carrying grocery bags and attaché cases
before
getting home
to warm houses and apartments to
dream away to sunny days.
Written during the 1990s, this is part of my book Poetry, Unassigned, which is currently looking for a publisher. I'd written it after being out and about on a chilly, rainy wintery afternoon.
Monday, August 10, 2020
FINI
FINI
by Robin Shwedo
©: Robin Shwedo, 1995
On a rainy night,
when driving is treacherous,
and the wind howls,
making it impossible to warm up and ward off the chill,
he calls.
Our relationship,
if ever the was one
(of all of a week)
is over.
Fini,
as they say.
He has decided
I am much too difficult.
I laugh –
quietly, to myself,
since it hurts.
The reasons he lists for leaving
are
the reasons he listed for first calling:
I’m a difficult free-spirit,
laughing during a crying-jag.
I seldom misrepresent myself;
this becomes a turn-on-and-off.
I try to warn people right away –
this is how I am,
outrageous,
boisterous,
but prone to meditative silences –
so that I can quickly cut away
the dead weight that might leave
with no interest
on my time unwisely invested.
And yet,
with a single call,
I feel the cold hand grip my heart,
its icy fingers sending chills throughout my being.
He has decided to take his leave
at the most inopportune time,
just when I need his arms around me,
his hand caressing my hair,
a warm blanket of kiss on my forehead,
cheeks,
lower,
his love warming me,
his…
But he calls to let me know it’s over.
I’ve been through this enough to know
not to plead;
in the end,
it will make no difference.
And so,
I let him go,
knowing that,
even as I numb myself
against the cold pain,
someone
someday
may be brave and strong enough to stay.
Most of us, at one time or another, have had a relationship that we thought might be the one but that shortly implodes. No matter how long or short that relationship was, it can be painful. But in the end, when the right person comes along, and sticks around, it can be so much sweeter.
This comes from my collection titled Revolutionary Broads and Other Nightmares, which is looking for a publishing home.
by Robin Shwedo
©: Robin Shwedo, 1995
On a rainy night,
when driving is treacherous,
and the wind howls,
making it impossible to warm up and ward off the chill,
he calls.
Our relationship,
if ever the was one
(of all of a week)
is over.
Fini,
as they say.
He has decided
I am much too difficult.
I laugh –
quietly, to myself,
since it hurts.
The reasons he lists for leaving
are
the reasons he listed for first calling:
I’m a difficult free-spirit,
laughing during a crying-jag.
I seldom misrepresent myself;
this becomes a turn-on-and-off.
I try to warn people right away –
this is how I am,
outrageous,
boisterous,
but prone to meditative silences –
so that I can quickly cut away
the dead weight that might leave
with no interest
on my time unwisely invested.
And yet,
with a single call,
I feel the cold hand grip my heart,
its icy fingers sending chills throughout my being.
He has decided to take his leave
at the most inopportune time,
just when I need his arms around me,
his hand caressing my hair,
a warm blanket of kiss on my forehead,
cheeks,
lower,
his love warming me,
his…
But he calls to let me know it’s over.
I’ve been through this enough to know
not to plead;
in the end,
it will make no difference.
And so,
I let him go,
knowing that,
even as I numb myself
against the cold pain,
someone
someday
may be brave and strong enough to stay.
Most of us, at one time or another, have had a relationship that we thought might be the one but that shortly implodes. No matter how long or short that relationship was, it can be painful. But in the end, when the right person comes along, and sticks around, it can be so much sweeter.
This comes from my collection titled Revolutionary Broads and Other Nightmares, which is looking for a publishing home.
Friday, August 7, 2020
WHAT A LAUGH
WHAT A LAUGH
by Robin Shwedo
©: Robin Shwedo, 1996
What a laugh.
We’ve broken up,
come apart,
and yet
there you stand in my living room.
I’m not sure what,
exactly,
you wanted.
Do you know?
Maybe to see how I was doing,
or to make sure you’d made the right choice.
You spotted what I’d written
in the days and weeks before the break,
when I knew it was inevitable,
but not knowing exactly when.
“You’re bitter,” you stated,
“and the rest is wrong.”
No, I was not the one who was wrong,
or bitter,
just trying to survive a broken heart.
I was doing better
before I saw you,
and yet,
there you stand in my living room.
I give you the cold shoulder,
keeping my wary distance;
no, not bitter,
but afraid that any closeness or emotion
will open up the hope,
the caring,
only to be crushed
when you walk out the door.
So,
I’ll keep my distance,
put up the walls,
and if that makes me a bitter bitch,
so be it.
I call it survival.
What a laugh.
This is part of my collection titled Revolutionary Broads and Other Nightmares.
by Robin Shwedo
©: Robin Shwedo, 1996
What a laugh.
We’ve broken up,
come apart,
and yet
there you stand in my living room.
I’m not sure what,
exactly,
you wanted.
Do you know?
Maybe to see how I was doing,
or to make sure you’d made the right choice.
You spotted what I’d written
in the days and weeks before the break,
when I knew it was inevitable,
but not knowing exactly when.
“You’re bitter,” you stated,
“and the rest is wrong.”
No, I was not the one who was wrong,
or bitter,
just trying to survive a broken heart.
I was doing better
before I saw you,
and yet,
there you stand in my living room.
I give you the cold shoulder,
keeping my wary distance;
no, not bitter,
but afraid that any closeness or emotion
will open up the hope,
the caring,
only to be crushed
when you walk out the door.
So,
I’ll keep my distance,
put up the walls,
and if that makes me a bitter bitch,
so be it.
I call it survival.
What a laugh.
This is part of my collection titled Revolutionary Broads and Other Nightmares.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)